Keep that Bucket Full

I don’t know about you, but I am exhaling a big sigh of relief as my family and friends receive their second doses of the Covid vaccine. As everyone receives it for that matter.

It’s been quite the year, hasn’t it?

I find myself fighting my way out of what I call a funk. It’s not just because of Covid. We are finishing the last details of closing the estate of Tracy’s mom. The sale of the home that Tracy grew up in will close later this week. It will be the first home to a wonderful young couple with two children. Just like the family that grew up there. The best part is that Tracy’s mom knew them. She would be pleased.

Yesterday as I was having a cocktail on my deck with a friend, we talked about the happenings of the last year and the effect it had on us. I am so happy to be getting back to in-person human interaction!

As it often does in my world, the subject moved to Travis. It is hard not to. Because my life revolves around taking care of his needs. I wish it didn’t have to, but it does. And frankly, sometimes he just doesn’t make it easy.

Don’t get me wrong, you all know that I love that boy. I’ve known for awhile now that parenting him was going to take more effort and years than expected. Maybe even all the rest of my years. But sometimes I selfishly just want to sit back and enjoy the fruits of our labor.

My friend reminded me that I need to be taking care of myself too. I get it. The truth is that it was harder to do this past year. All of the things that I do to fill my bucket were put on hold because of coronavirus.

We had limited visits with the grandboys. We haven’t been to the cabin in several months. We did not snowmobile at all this winter. Our vacation to Iceland was cancelled. I haven’t had a massage in forever. My poor aching body. I miss seeing my friends and family.

It’s been that kind of year for everyone.

We all have reasons that it is important to keep that bucket full.

I mentioned to my friend that maybe writing our story is keeping me too focused on our story.

Her advice was to keep writing. She told me that I am a good writer. I know she’s right about continuing to write. So I take a look at the ‘About’ section of my blog to remind me why I do this. This is what I wrote:

Why write a blog?  I have been through a lot of hard stuff in my life.  But nothing as difficult as raising a child with special needs.  Travis has been given countless diagnoses over the years.  He was diagnosed with autism when he was eleven years old.  He also suffers from chronic depression and anxiety.  And he is angry and finds it difficult to manage his anger. 

I am writing this blog for a couple of reasons.  My hope is that in sharing our stories, our successes and our failures, our wins and our losses, you the reader will come away with something.  Maybe you can relate and you come upon some information that helps you through a personal situation. 

Maybe you do not have a child with special needs, but you walk away with a bigger heart. 

Maybe you already know me and you just get to know me better. 

And I am writing this blog at the strong encouragement of some special people in my life, my daughter and a couple of very close friends.  They tell me that I am a good story teller.  That I have a way of finding the humor in a situation even though it was the furthest thing from funny in the moment. 

Maybe writing this blog is part of my purpose.  That you get something from reading it but I also get something from writing it.  That maybe if I share it I don’t end up carrying the bulk of it alone. 

Why read my blog?  I do not have aspirations of having millions of followers and making millions of dollars.  In all honesty I do not have a clue how any of that works.  I have met many people on my journey.  People that I have helped one at a time by sharing a story and an outcome.  Our journey has been a long and winding road.  Maybe in telling our story I will be able to straighten that path for one of you.  Helping others makes me feel good. 

None of us knows how our stories end.  But maybe we can build a community where we help each other get through what is happening now together.  I am not an expert on children with special needs.  I do not believe there is such a thing.  If there was wouldn’t my son be well by now?  Wouldn’t we have all the necessary answers?  But I feel like I am the closest thing to an expert on Travis.  You don’t even need to be a parent to enjoy this blog.  I am sure we all have someone in our lives who has our heart and needs our voice.

So today I want to ask you to leave a comment and let me know. Take a moment of your time and answer one of these questions:

Have you come away with something from reading our story?

Have I provided any information that helped you through a personal situation?

Has your heart grown?

Do you know me better?

If you know us personally, do you have a better understanding of Travis and what makes him tick?

Have I helped to straighten your path, if even just a little?

As for me, I have definitely found that sharing our story has reduced the weight of the load I carry. Your comments and support have helped me to remember that I am not alone. I have had so many conversations with so many of you about various blogs and stories. I so appreciate my friends that have made a point to comment regularly.

Today I want to hear from them. And you. Yes you. Today I want you to do the writing and I will do the reading.

Answer one of the above questions, or tell me why you’re reading.

I feel like we have built a community. I have picked up followers on Facebook that I don’t know personally. How did you find our story?

Are you a subscriber that gets our email to let you know when a new post is available? Do you read on my Facebook page or on the “No Stone Left Unturned” Facebook page? If you follow us there, make sure to give the page a like. And every post too!

Maybe you found us on Pinterest? Or just jump on our website, www.glendakastle.com, periodically?

Share with me your favorite Travis memory. One that you’ve experienced with him personally. Or one that you read here.

Hearing from you will fill my bucket.

“Like the cup that runneth over, a full bucket gives us a positive outlook and renewed energy. Every drop in that bucket makes us stronger and more optimistic. But an empty bucket poisons are outlook, saps our energy, and undermines our will. That’s why every time someone dips from our bucket, it hurts us. So we face a choice every moment of every day: We can fill one another’s buckets, or we can dip from them. It’s an important choice - one that profoundly influences our relationships, productivity, health and happiness.” - Author Unknown

“Guess what? When you fill someone’s bucket, you fill your own bucket too! You feel good when you help others feel good.” - Author Unknown