Too Much on My Plate

I am actually in the process of writing a procedure manual detailing all of the things that I take care of for our family, but mostly for Travis. Do you think that is a sign that I have too much on my plate?

In all seriousness, taking care of Travis’s needs is a full-time job.

I’ve joked a bunch that Tracy is going to be in trouble if I go first. As I got to thinking more about that I realized that I should probably do something about it. I am not getting any younger. There have been times that I needed some information from my office while I am in town. When I called Tracy he would struggle finding the information I needed. My office is organized. In a way that makes sense to my brain.

I have always taken care of all of our bills and paperwork. Taking care of benefit paperwork and deadlines is a whole new process. You simply have to be on top of it because there are so many times that the people on the other side of the paperwork are not.

Having some type of notebook with important information in it for your family members is probably not a bad idea for everyone to have available.

This is what mine looks like. Each page is in a protective sheet. The first page is my spreadsheet of my usernames, passwords, and websites for all of the businesses or agencies that I deal with. It also has the answers to the security questions when applicable. So it honestly wouldn’t be that difficult for a criminal to sit at my desk and get into my accounts. My procedure manual isn’t locked in a safe.

The second page is our most recent financial statement. I update this three or four times a year. That is the accountant in me. It is on Excel so very easy to update. I have notes next to the numbers as needed to give further detail.

The next page details the steps I take as the representative payee of Travis’s SSI. I attach receipts to the bank statement. This bank statement comes in the mail. I keep them in a notebook, a new one for each year. Travis has a separate account with a debit card. I transfer money from his SSI account to his account as needed for expenses. So for instance, if he needs gas for his car he will call me and I will transfer the funds.

My goal is to be able to transfer a certain amount of money each week so that Travis wouldn’t need to call me each time he needed some. At this point he is unable to have access to any money as he spends it on unnecessary stuff the moment it is in his hands or account. He struggles understanding a budget and spends on a whim without thinking.

This account does not send a statement. It has to be printed from the bank website. Which is necessary because that is the receipt that shows exactly where he is spending those funds and proof that he received it. My manual details how to get that statement and what day of the month it is available.

Each September, Social Security sends an annual audit reminder. This has to completed online on my personal Social Security page. It asks how the money was spent, for example breaking down how much was for rent and utilities, how much for food etc…

When Travis has a job his income needs to be called in or logged in online by the 6th of each month to Social Security. Because he usually gets paid by direct deposit I have to go to the payroll company website and print his paystubs.

There is a page on legal guardianship. I went through a training years ago. At the training they suggested that each parent and at least one sibling be co-guardians. So that when the parents are gone the process doesn’t need to start over. It is a complicated process that involves a court hearing. So we did include Corey as a co-guardian.

There is an annual report that needs to be completed. They don’t send a reminder. I need to remember to send it each July, to be received by the court by his birthday on the 14th. One year I had by the end of July in my head and received some type of delay prevention order from the court. I also received a letter once from the probate court Protective Proceedings Monitor that my current report was too similar to the one from the year before.

He has lived in the same home for the last eight years, sees the same doctor and psychologist, has a provider that helps him cook twice a week. Change is hard for Travis, so I try to keep a regular routine. I was guilty of some cutting and pasting, but it was because the information was still pertinent!

I have to have a page with directions because I had to attend a training to learn the process. How would Tracy or Corey just know what to do without some type of instructions?

I carry a copy of the court order in my purse. Each time he sees a new doctor they need a copy for their records. That allows the doctors to talk to me without violating HIPAA. I attend every doctor and psychiatrist appointment with Travis. He is unable to remember any details about what they tell him. Travis is also unable to keep a calendar.

Travis sees his psychiatrist every three months for medicine management. Travis sees his primary doctor regularly, about every three to four months to manage his diabetes and other health issues. Travis is also seeing a pulmonologist. And needs regular bloodwork. He also sees the eye doctor annually and the dentist every six months.

I probably take Travis to urgent care three or four times a year for various health issues. It is impossible to get in to see his primary care doctor for illnesses such as bronchitis. Travis has had bronchitis numerous times, and even pneumonia twice.

There is a page in the manual for pet care. We have two dogs and Travis has a dog and a cat. Each of them with a annual visit in different months. The dogs also have a visit each April for a heartworm test and to pick up their preventative chews. Guess who takes all of the fur babies to the veterinarian?

Medicaid requires a redetermination application annually. The several page application is sent in the mail by Larimer County. The letter says that they must receive the completed application no later than October 15th. The postmark on the envelope says October 18th. I receive it in my mailbox on October 21st. For real. So my manual details how to complete the process online with my secret how to get through to a person on the phone.

We bought a mobile home for Travis. A couple of years later his name got to the top of the waiting list for a HUD voucher. It is difficult to find landlords that accept the voucher. The HUD Housing Coordinator allowed Travis to stay in the mobile home with us as his landlords. This is an accommodation that HUD allowed because Travis is an individual with a disability.

Each time Travis starts or stops a job I have to get a letter of verification from the employer for HUD. If Travis has any income, no matter how little, he has to pay a larger portion of the rent. Based on an estimate from the employer.

HUD comes to the home for an inspection each year at lease renewal time. I keep a spreadsheet of rent income and expenses as I have to report the income or loss on our taxes. My manual explains the process including how to pay Travis’s lot rent and utilities for the home.

In the eight years that Travis has lived on his own we have contracted with five different live-in aides. Four of them lasted about six months each. One lasted for two years. Once one leaves it takes months to find a new one. It is a hard position. After the last one left Travis decided to try living without an aide. My manual still includes where to find the contract in the event we decide otherwise.

There is a page that has names, emails and phone numbers of Travis’s doctors, psychiatrist, providers, job coach, case managers.

There is a page of what bills are due on what day. I pay all of our bills online, and most of them do not send a bill in the mail, only in email.

It is so hard to lose our loved ones. The family left behind is engulfed in grief. Developing my procedure manual has been a great deal of work. But if it can decrease the anxiety of my loved ones when I am gone it will have been well worth the effort.

Truth be told, my memory is starting to slip. I find myself referring to my manual more and more often these days. Or this may simply be a case of too much on my plate.

“And I figured out that the reason I couldn’t get through the day as well as I can now is because I had too many things on my mind, on my plate, you know, for one person to have. So I started to eliminate some of the things that were too heavy to carry and unnecessary.” - Erykah Bady

“You can do anything, but not everything.” - Author Unknown