Let the Rebuilding Begin

I’ve been thinking a lot about habits lately. My good ones. My bad ones. How many new bad ones I have developed during the pandemic. Or reverted back to. I find myself wondering why it is so much easier to develop bad habits than good ones.

I think about the habits that I am trying to break Travis of.

I’m sure part of the reason habits have been on my mind is because it is the start of a new year. I am trying to continue being mindful of my intentions.

I also feel like I am beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel with Covid-19. Travis is part of the current list that Colorado is vaccinating so I am feeling hopeful that I will find him an appointment soon.

Spring is in the air.

I have some new habits that are going well. I continue to turn my phone off at night when I go to bed. Travis has learned that he will not be able to reach me during the night. Because Travis is a night owl, he doesn’t typically get up until noon or so. He had a habit of forgetting how late at night it was when he called me because he was calling during his awake time.

One of my goals for the new year is to read more. I have been doing a good job and believe it is becoming a habit. I have been reading a book per week and am planning to keep that pace going. Part of the reason that I have been successful is because I am participating in a monthly Facebook Room book club meeting with some friends. One of my friends in the club commented that the book club is an example of one good thing to come from sheltering at home. The members represent four different states.

Right now I am in the middle of the book, “The Power of Habit”, by Charles Duhigg. The central argument of the book is that habits can be changed if we understand how they work. I’m in! If this book can help me change my bad habits to good ones then it is totally worth the investment of time reading it.

Duhigg says that his book focuses on, “habits as they are technically defined: the choices that all of us deliberately make at some point, and then stop thinking about but continue doing, often every day. We stopped making a choice and the behavior became automatic. It’s a natural consequence of our neurology. And by understanding how it happens, you can rebuild those patterns in whichever way you choose.”

Let the rebuilding begin!

Duhigg says that habits often occur without our permission. My habits resemble that remark!

He also says that the golden rule of habit change is that you cannot extinguish a bad habit, you can only change it. There is a cue to your brain that brings you to the habit and a reward. Duhigg says that we need to insert a new routine in the middle of the cue and reward.

I used to subscribe to a few magazines. A news magazine, a health magazine and a entertainment magazine. When I needed some down time I would curl up in a chair and read magazines. I didn’t have the time to keep up with them. They began to pile up and create clutter. Why did I save them? The news is no longer pertinent a year or more later.

I didn’t renew any of them. I get enough news watching an hour of the “Today” show and reading news articles on the internet. I decided I wanted to read something with more substance than an entertainment magazine.

The cue is that I crave some downtime. But now I read a book. The reward? I love to learn. I enjoy the book club conversation.

It worked!

Same story with watching TV. I need some downtime? I’m making the decision to read instead more often.

Duhigg states, “When a habit emerges, the brain stops fully participating in decision making. So unless you deliberately fight a habit - unless you find new routines - the pattern will unfold automatically. The brain can be reprogrammed. You just have to be deliberate about it.”

During the pandemic I have found myself spending more time at my computer. And more time snacking while on my computer. Am I even hungry? Or bored? The cue is that I am feeling hungry or bored. Maybe I need a break. I eat a sugary snack. The reward is a very short satisfaction. But eating sugar makes me crave more. I have broken this addiction in the past and am trying to again.

The last week or two when the 3pm bewitching hour hits, I grab an apple with almond or peanut butter. Craving satisfied. All the way to supper. The secret is to make sure to keep healthy snacks in the house!

Duhigg says, “A habit is a formula our brain automatically follows. To re-engineer that formula, we need to begin making choices again. And the easiest way to do this is to have a plan. Like keeping the house stocked with healthy snacks.

My next goal? To make exercise an important part of my daily routine again.

Per Duhigg, “For some habits there is one other ingredient that’s necessary. Belief. One must have the capacity to believe that change is possible. Belief is easier when it occurs within a community. Community can sometimes be made up of just one other person.”

I know this to be true. Having a great running community helped me to reach my goal of running a marathon.

Duhigg believes that once we understand how a habit operates we can gain power over it.

Working on achieving better habits is important to me. For my health and well-being. Because if I am well, I can take better care of my family. I can take better care of Travis.

Travis also needs to do some work on changing some habits. Changing habits is difficult for most individuals. Motivation is a key element that Travis doesn’t possess. The best chance I have of teaching him some better habits is to do a better job of modeling them.

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” - Socrates

“First forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable. Habit will sustain you whether you’re inspired or not.” - Octavia Butler

“You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret to your success is found in your daily routine.” - John C. Maxwell