The World We Live In

Today is my birthday. I do have a wish for when I blow out the candles. But I cannot tell you what it is because if I do, it may not come true!

I am fifty-seven years old today. It seems like every year goes by a bit faster. This has been a particularly tough year. I think most of you would agree.

Covid-19 has changed the world for all of us.

My family has had to keep a watchful eye on two separate wildfires, each threatening much loved properties.

The current political climate is the worst I have had to endure in my lifetime.

Being a caregiver is hard. I have said this before. Caregiving during Covid-19, while managing the stress of the wildfires that are way too close for comfort, and during this political climate is more than hard. It’s exhausting. It’s unrelenting.

One of the common themes that I write about revolves around kindness. More kindness and less judgement. But everywhere I turn I am faced with another headline or another story. So many people have lost loved ones to Covid-19. So many people have lost their homes to fires or floods. And while I am brought to tears by the kindness some people have shown, I am also troubled by the rise in hate and bullying by others.

Raising a son with special needs is already hard. Travis also has many issues with his physical health. He struggles with his weight. He has Type II diabetes. He has sleep apnea. And gout attacks. His mental illness gets in the way of exercising. Mental illness steals his motivation. And hides it in a place that is difficult to find.

Travis is a daily smoker. So those tiny hairs in his lungs, I think they’re called cilia, don’t work properly. He gets bronchitis often. He has even had pneumonia a couple of times. He is in the high risk category for becoming very ill or even dying if he contracts coronavirus.

How do I keep a young man that doesn’t understand the concept of cause and effect safe from Covid-19? I still hound him daily about the importance of hygiene. Take a shower. Comb your hair. Put on some deodorant. Brush your teeth. For most people these things become a habit. We do them without thinking. Travis needs to be reminded.

Washing his hands for twenty seconds while singing the happy birthday song twice? It ain’t happening.

I didn’t want to sit in his car before Covid-19. Now there is no way. Travis is constantly giving his tribe rides everywhere. To work at places like McDonald’s and 7-11. He gives his tribe rides to their doctor appointments. To Walmart. They go out to eat.

He has a few masks. I wonder when was the last time they’ve been laundered. He and his tribe wear them when they go in a store, but not in the car when they are all together. Every Walmart in his town has had a virus outbreak. His friends do not wear masks at his house. There is no social distancing going on there for sure.

I wear a mask the entire time I am with Travis. When I am in his house. When I drive him to his appointments or run errands with him. Because if I somehow end up with Covid-19, I do not want to pass it to him. I am actually quite worried about him getting sick. He is vulnerable. I am his mother. Never did I imagine that I would be ridiculed for choosing to wear a mask. To protect my son. To protect others. Ridiculed by other adults. Yep.

That’s the world we live in.

I helped Travis get registered to vote when he turned eighteen. Early on he was not that interested in voting. I didn’t push it. I was worried that I wouldn’t be objective when talking to him about politics. But this year he had some very strong opinions of his own. We had a great conversation, and he told me what his thoughts were. I helped him with his ballot.

Never did I imagine that I would be nervous to drop off our ballots. A friend shared a story about an incident where someone he knew went to drop off their ballot and a person in the parking lot tried to intimidate him. This person stood in front of him blocking his way. He had to walk around that person. And that friend saw others purposefully coughing on the next person walking up to drop off a ballot. Because the person was wearing a mask.

I told Tracy maybe he should drop them off this year. Ultimately I did it, but I went on a week day during business hours. There was a security guard monitoring the proper amount of feet people needed to be from the ballot box to protest. Yep.

That’s the world we live in.

We are experiencing severe drought issues in Colorado. Red flag warnings are in place. We are accustomed to red flag warnings being issued when humidity is low, and there are gusty winds, thus creating a high risk of fire. If a red flag warning is in effect it means do not burn anything outdoors as a rapid spread of fire is possible. Campfires are prohibited. That includes charcoal and wood burning stoves.

Do not smoke outdoors. Welding or using a torch device outdoors is prohibited unless the work site has been issued a permit from a local fire department.

Yet the three largest fires currently burning in the Colorado/Wyoming area are all believed to be human caused. Over six hundred structures lost. Family homes and cabins. Because someone selfishly didn’t follow the rules. Someone decided that rules are for other people. Rules in place to keep others safe. Yep.

That’s the world we live in.

Travis has shared with me on numerous occasions that he doesn’t like the world we live in. He has been experiencing the harshness of this world his entire life. I shared his hurt because I could see his pain, even though I didn’t feel it. Only now I do.

“I am fundamentally an optimist. Whether that comes from nature or nurture, I cannot say. Part of being optimistic is keeping one’s head pointed toward the sun, one’s feet moving forward. There were many dark moments when my faith in humanity was sorely tested, but I would not and could not give myself up to despair. That way lays defeat and death.” - Nelson Mandela