No End in Sight

When I write about Travis’s struggle with his mental health issues, I often describe his mental illness as a separate entity. I say things like, “Travis’s mental illness makes him believe that he is worthless, or Travis’s mental illness tells him he is unlovable”.

I’ve mentioned in the past that I picture myself putting on and zipping up my thick skin coat when Travis lashes out at me. I tell myself that this is not Travis talking, this is his mental illness talking. I think if I frame my thinking in that way, it allows me to still love my son deeply. It’s his mental illness that I am not so fond of.

I am currently trying to teach Travis’s live-in aide to think of it that way. His aide shared with me that he doesn’t think Travis cares for him, and that Travis can say some pretty mean things. I told him Travis cares about you, it’s his mental illness that says the mean things.

The aide has shared that Travis can be a cool dude and is funny. They’ve had some good times together. I told him that is the Travis that I know and love. The one that I am trying to reach out and grab, the one I am holding on to.

Travis is in the fight of his life against his mental illness. The mental illness is a strong opponent. In order for the mental illness to win the war, its current battle is to push Travis’s loved ones away. It makes Travis treat the people that love him the most in the worst possible way. I can see that the mental illness has won some battles. Travis has friends and family members that keep their distance.

I get it. We are all responsible for keeping the peace in our own lives. It’s important to our health to keep our stress levels down.

His mental illness knows exactly where to strike, where your personal weaknesses lie. So keeping your distance keeps you safe.

I am his mom. A mom’s love is endless. It is unconditional. It is unlimited. A mother’s love for her child does not waver. I love both of my children more than I love myself. When they hurt, I hurt.

I will fight this war with Travis, battle by battle. As long as he keeps fighting, I will be by his side.

Which means I am a constant target. He is my child. I don’t get to keep my distance. I am going to have to keep on working on my strength. On setting boundaries. In Travis terms, my thick skin coat is my armor. I have to use my shield to deflect the strikes of his mental illness.

I am working hard to do all the things to keep me upright, so that I can hold my family together as best I can.

If you’ve been following our story, you know that these last few weeks the battle has been relentless with no end in sight.

My faith in the mental health system hit an all-time low these last few weeks. And then I came across this article, “Fort Collins Police Services Utilize App To Help Identify, Interact With Those Living With Intellectual Disabilities”.

By Dillon ThomasApril 14, 2022 at 5:59 pm

FORT COLLINS, Colo. (CBS4) – Fort Collins Police Services will be the first agency in Colorado to partner with “Vitals Ap,” a technology that will help first responders identify and properly interact with community members who live with intellectual disabilities. In partnership with UCHealth, the health provider that has covered the associated costs for the police department in order to launch the app in Fort Collins, Fort Collins police and mental health responders will be able to better serve those who have profiles through the app.

The app, which was developed by former law enforcement officers and experts in mental health response, is subscription-based. For as little as $2.99 a month families can create a profile on the app for their loved ones. A profile includes a photo of the individual, their name and information about their disabilities that the family feels comfortable sharing.

The app also includes information on what types of actions an officer can expect from the user that is experiencing distress, contact information for loved ones and even best practices for that individual’s preferred form of de-escalation.

Users are given a keychain that it tied to their account. An officer only has to come within 80 feet of the individual for the officer’s phone to link the profile.

Police are unable to track the whereabouts of a user, as the app on the officer’s phone only works if they are within 80 feet of the user.

“We are the first co-response in the nation that is using this,” FCPS Chief Jeff Swoboda told CBS4’s Dillon Thomas. “Vitals is going to allow our officers to interact with people in a different way.”

FCPS has a standing partnership with UCHealth and the mental health response team. The team has been used in the past year to respond to mental health calls which may be better for medical providers to respond to instead of police. In its opening phase in Fort Collins, Vitals will be used predominantly by the mental health response team from UCHealth. Once officers are further trained on the usage of the application they will also adopt the process.

“It is that type of interaction that is going to be a game-changer for police officers on the street,” Swoboda said.

Users can also provide phone numbers associated with the person living with individual mental health challenges. Those phone numbers and the associated data are then provided to an estimated 85% of 911 dispatch centers currently working with Vitals App, allowing dispatchers to understand how to better handle a 911 call.

“(Our officers will be able to approach knowing) what triggers the person? What causes them to have more stress, and what causes them to calm down?” Swoboda said.

Fort Collins is the only police department in Colorado currently offering the service. However, the company behind the app hopes to expand that soon.

Users of the app are not limited to the services just in their respective community. If a subscriber in Fort Collins is on vacation in Florida in a community that also operates under the service, the application works the same.

Chief Swoboda said the app also places more pressure on the community to make sure they are doing their part to help the police department better serve those with unique mental challenges. By offering up the Vitals App service, Swoboda said there is now one less excuse for officers not having access to critical information that can better help individuals during a crisis.

“It puts some responsibility back on the family members as well. If you know those types of things are happening, let’s not just rely on police officers to figure it out at three in the morning with no other services around,” Swoboda said “Let’s take some proactive steps.”

You can bet your bottom dollar that I am going to be proactive and get Travis signed up for this service. He lives outside of city limits, so if the police are called to his home, it would not be Fort Collins Police Services (FCPS) responding, it would be the Larimer County Sheriff’s Department. It still makes sense to sign him up because he actively participates in activities within Fort Collins. And it sounds like UC Health co-responders will be using the Vitals App. I’ll have to research this further, but I’m thinking the Larimer County Sheriff’s Department may use co-responders on some calls. So even if the deputies don’t get the information on their phones, the co-responder might.

I’ve written in the past that when Travis is having a rage filled meltdown that I’m reluctant to call 911. I have just heard of too many cases where the family calls for support because there loved one is experiencing a mental health crisis and the situation escalates or doesn’t end well.

I also watched the story on CBS news. During the story a mom, Ali Thompson, made some comments about her son on the autism spectrum that sound exactly what I say about Travis. Our sons are both on the spectrum. They both are large in stature and can be intimidating. They respond to stressful situations in unique ways. Common responses during stressful times could be concerning to law enforcement offices that don’t know him.

Per Thompson, “I worry just about every day. I don’t want someone to perceive him as a threat. I want them to understand that his mind works differently.”

This app will give the responder the ability to understand why someone is acting outside our expectations.

The FCPS posted about the Vitals app on their Facebook page on April 14th. Here is the post in it’s entirety:

Fort Collins Police Services announced Thursday that officers will begin using The Vitals App in the coming weeks - becoming the first public safety agency in Colorado to use the cutting edge technology.

Fort Collins is also the first city in the nation launching Vitals through a co-response model, as UCHealth and FCPS partner to bring this program to our community.

The Vitals App allows a vulnerable person or caregiver to download an app, and voluntarily provide real-time critical information about medical conditions, visible and invisible intellectual and developmental conditions or disabilities, memory loss and mental health challenges. The customized account profiles often include de-escalation cues and techniques, behavior triggers, current medications, etc. When first responders (FCPS and UCHealth personnel) come within 80 feet of the person, they’ll get a notification on their phone with this information. They can then use this added context to effectively de-escalate and support the person's immediate needs.

“We are excited to bring the Vitals App to Fort Collins and the state of Colorado. We believe this powerful technology will help our officers and co-responders initiate less stressful and more successful interactions in our community,” said Fort Collins Police Chief Jeff Swoboda.

“As we navigate the complex intersection of public safety and mental health, I’m confident that Fort Collins Police Services and our partners will continue to collaborate and innovate to meet the needs of our community. The Vitals program is one of many ways we’re working to ensure safety and service for all.”

UCHealth officials learned early in the process that Fort Collins Police Services was interested in using the Vitals App. The largest health care organization in the region immediately saw the value of the technology and decided to partner to bring Vitals to Fort Collins.

“We have so many patients who can benefit from the Vitals App. We think this is a fantastic resource for the co-responders working alongside police officers. This is a great way for public health and mental health professionals to partner with public safety to help keep residents safe,” said Stephanie Booco, co-responder program supervisor for UCHealth.

Lea Anne Paskvalich, executive director of the Autism Society of Colorado, said she hopes resources like the Vitals App fosters a cultural change in community policing. She commended Fort Collins and UCHealth for their proactive mindset in bringing Vitals to Colorado. “I know that we have constituents who will benefit from this service. This app will give autistic individuals and their families more peace of mind and a tangible way to help protect themselves,” Paskvalich added.

David Monroe, executive director of The Arc of Larimer County, said that after learning about the Vitals App and the positive impact it has had in other states and municipalities, he was pleased to see it being added to the resources that are available for use [both by our community members living with I/DD and their families] and by the Fort Collins Police Services when interacting with individuals with Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities in our community.

“We are hopeful that it will prove to be a useful tool that has a foundational impact on the nature of the interactions which take place in our community between people with IDD and Police Service professionals,” Monroe added.

The Vitals™ App speaks clearly when vulnerable individuals can’t.

“I applaud Chief Swoboda and his team for being the first public safety agency in Colorado to begin using the Vitals App. Colorado has long been seen as a leader nationally in law enforcement reform. Bringing our lifesaving technology to Fort Collins continues that forward thinking trend,” said Janeé Harteau, president and chief executive officer of Vitals™ Aware Services.

The Vitals™ App, considered the first real-time digital medical ID, is available for download in both Apple and Google Play stores.

As an aside, it’s interesting to note that the hospital where Travis spent 30 hours in the ER room I described as a closet is a UCHealth hospital. I am excited about the direction the Vitals app is taking for individuals in our community like Travis, but there is likely always going to be room for improvement in the quality of mental health care.

And while I currently feel like there is no end in sight because we are in the midst of a rough battle, when I am able to come up for air I plan to use Travis’s story as a teachable moment and hope that it will play a part in further reform.

“That’s the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it’s impossible to ever see the end. The fog is like a cage without the key.” - Author Unknown

“A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. It dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.” - Agatha Christie