Never a Dull Moment

I have decided to cut myself some slack, show myself some grace. I had been so hard on myself about crossing things off my to-do list. (More like scroll.) About getting things done. About sticking to a timeline.

The idea is to relinquish control. Live in the present. All in the interest of self-care.

But in doing so, I feel like maybe I let the pendulum swing too far the other way! I’m having a hard time getting in the right frame of mind to get anything done.

Didn’t I just say a few weeks ago that I am feeling rejuvenated?

Having said that, I think that part of my problem is that every time I feel like I am getting caught up on the to-do scroll, more things get added. I get that life has a way of doing that.

So that is where I’m at. And why my weekly blog hasn’t been so weekly lately!

Travis had a car accident a couple of weeks ago. He is fine. The air bags deployed, so his hands were sore. The impact has caused some soreness throughout his body. His car is totaled. Travis got the citation, so I got to add a court date to my calendar.

Travis is having difficulty understanding why he is at fault. A vehicle moved over into his lane in front of the car ahead of him. Leaving no gap between the cars. Then it stopped abruptly. The car in front of Travis veered to the side of the road and hit the curb. Travis rear-ended this vehicle. Meaning he was following too closely. In his mind the vehicle moving over should be at fault. If they hadn’t done that, the accident would not have happened.

The police officer didn’t see it that way. The police officer said the car in front of you was able to stop. (With the help of the curb.) So, Travis should have been able to stop.

Travis called me from the accident site. Tracy and I were at our cabin, so a couple of hours away. Travis wanted the police officer to talk to me. Thinking I could fix it. Of course the officer refused to get on the phone with me. They were more concerned with getting the traffic moving again. Travis even asked the officer for a ride home.

The tow truck driver, on the other hand, was more than happy to get on the phone with me. To tell me about the tow rates on a Sunday of a holiday weekend. In his defense, he agreed to give Travis a ride to the intersection closest to his home.

Travis has had his license since he was eighteen. We spent two full years practicing on a permit. He started driving short distances on his own. At first, he refused to drive at night. Or in the rain. Over time he became more and more comfortable. We never pushed. He was involved in an accident seven years ago, but it wasn’t his fault. This is his first citation. He has been driving for eleven years.

We talked at length about the idea that accidents happen. No one did anything on purpose or meant for it to happen. He was mad that the vehicle that stopped fast drove off.

Unfortunately, it is very difficult to leave the required space between drivers. It seems like every time you do, someone moves into it. That is why we have to be aware and drive defensively. Which most of us do, until we don’t. We’re mindful, until we aren’t. And sometimes in those moments an accident occurs.

Driving is something that Travis is hyper-vigilant about. Usually. He is the worst back seat driver, making sure that you are aware that the light is turning red, or a stop sign is coming up. He even likes to give me directions to places we have been together several times before. It’s actually a bit distracting. Come to think of it, the two times I have received a citation over the last ten years, he was in the car with me! LOL!

Fortunately, we now have wi-fi at the cabin. I was able to file the claim for him online. And take the calls.

I have been shopping for a used vehicle on Craiglist and Facebook Market Place. Travis only had his current vehicle for eleven months. Turns out we got a great deal on that car. I am not finding anything comparable for the price.

The hardest part of this experience for Travis is how quickly the phone calls stopped coming in from his friends. He is deeply hurt. Although Travis did tell me that one friend called and asked if he would be getting another car anytime soon. Deep sigh.

Through this experience I am once again reminded that my caregiving journey includes parenting. Forever. Whether you are currently parenting, or looking back at your parenting years, I think we can all agree that with parenting there is never a dull moment.

“And then one day we decided we were tired of sleeping in and doing whatever we wanted in a clean house, so we had kids.” - Author Unknown