We Could Use a Win

Today as I dropped off one of our dogs to be groomed it occurred to me that I treat my dog to a spa day, but I don’t do the same for myself. We have two dogs and Travis has a dog and a cat. I never miss any of their annual doctor visits. I even take a couple of the dogs to get their nails trimmed. I simply need to do better at taking care of myself.

We are leaving Friday morning for a family trip to Lake Powell. Kicking back on a houseboat is one of our favorite vacations. If you haven’t been to Lake Powell, make a point to take a trip. The scenery is majestic. I always feel most alive when I am enjoying the outdoors. This will be the first time that our grandsons will be joining in on the fun. They are old enough now to appreciate the experience.

Pulling everything together for a family vacation is a daunting task. I booked this trip about a year ago when I found out that our trip to Iceland for last October got cancelled. I didn’t have any idea at the time where the world would be as far as Covid-19, so planning a family trip to Lake Powell was a no-brainer. Most of the days are spent outdoors and I figured we would be safe traveling with family members.

Tracy and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary in March. This trip was our gift to ourselves!

We are lucky enough to have a neighbor that comes to our house twice a day to feed and take care of our dogs so that they can stay at home. Thank goodness for great neighbors and doggy doors. I booked a dog boarding company for Travis’s dog. Her training is still a work in progress, so I don’t trust leaving her at our house. She doesn’t live here, so if she escaped I am unsure if she would find her way back.

I asked one of Travis’s neighbors to check in on his cat and bird.

We will be buying the bulk of our food once we get to Page, Arizona, so that we don’t have to worry about traveling with it and keeping it cold. Corey and Matt are cooking two dinners, and we are cooking two dinners.

Travis is joining us. Which means I don’t have to worry that he is ok. We don’t have cell phone coverage while out on the lake. Last time we went with friends and the moment I got into range it started pinging like crazy. Text messages and voicemails galore.

But that brings up another concern. Travis spends a fair amount of his time either on Xbox or his phone. He will not have cell coverage or wi-fi. I love unplugging during vacations. He does not.

We will spend one night in Moab on the way. Another great place to visit! Rather than get a hotel room in Page for Saturday night, we booked the night on our houseboat. So we will be one of the first boats out of the marina on Sunday morning.

Just when I thought I had my ducks in a row, guess what?! Travis got himself a job. This is a funny story.

I used to shop with Travis at one of the vape stores in town. Every time we went in he would ask the owner if he could work there. Eventually I stopped going in with him because several people would be vaping in the store and I couldn’t breathe. As time went on I stopped bringing Travis. Slowly, but surely, he is starting to take care of some of his own errands.

A new vape store opened in town and Travis started to shop there. Last Wednesday Travis called me and told me that he needed vape juice. I told him that his budget was $20 and I also specifically told him, “Do not call me and ask for more.” Travis has a habit of seeing other items that he thinks he cannot live without and has a tendency to call and ask for them. Items that he cannot afford. That he actually can live without.

Two minutes later he is calling. On FaceTime. I pick up and he immediately shows me one such item and asks if he can get it. I tell him no, he is there for vape juice and vape juice only. I tell him the item is not in his budget. End of story. We hang up.

Two minutes later my phone is ringing. Guess who? I take a deep breath. Because I am ready to lose my $%&*. Travis says the owner of the store wants to talk to me. That may sound weird, but I am actually used to Travis putting various people on the phone to talk to me. As if that might help his case. I’m thinking the owner is going to tell me that he will offer Travis a special deal on the item he wants to buy.

So imagine my surprise when the owner says, “I was wondering if you would be ok with Travis coming to work for me?”

Travis probably did the same thing he did at the last store. Ask the owner every time he shopped if he could work there.

Of course I said, “Of course”! I explained to the owner that Travis received job coaching services. Initially he wasn’t interested and said that he would train Travis himself and have Travis work on a day that he was working. He mentioned that he didn’t want to pay for the coaching. But once I explained it was provided by the state at no cost to him he was open to it.

The owner said that he gets a large shipment of product each Thursday. He asked if Travis could work on Fridays to help unpack the shipment and clean up the mess.

I got the call last Wednesday. I contacted Travis’s job coach and she met Travis there on Thursday to complete the new hire paperwork, and he worked a five hour shift on Friday. Travis called me immediately when he clocked out and was so excited. He said the owner told him that he did better than he expected.

The last couple of jobs Travis had the job coach worked with him one on one the entire shift. Travis shared with us that he did not enjoy working at Spirit Halloween last year nearly as much as he did five years ago. When we got to the bottom of it we learned that having a job coach by his side and constantly redirecting him made him anxious and angry.

I told the job coach that I just wanted her to stop in once per shift to make sure all was going well and to touch base with the owner to see if Travis needed support with specific tasks.

The day the owner asked me about Travis working there he told Travis that he would need to get a haircut. Secretly I was happy! Travis was not. I told him to ask the owner when he went on Thursday if he could put his hair in a ponytail. On Thursday he showered and picked his hair (it’s extremely curly) before he went. When he asked about the ponytail, the owner said if your hair is clean and combed like today, you don’t need to cut it.

I know for most parents this is not a big deal, but for us it is huge. First, Travis got the job on his own without the support of his job coach. Then he showered and took care of his hair on his own to attend the meeting. This was his way of advocating for himself about keeping his hair long.

His boss asked if he had shirts with collars that he could wear. Travis shared that because of his sensory issues it was difficult for him to wear a shirt with a collar. They agreed that he could wear a nice appropriate T-shirt. Again Travis advocated for his needs.

And he didn’t lose it when he was told that he needed to take care of his hair and dress appropriately.

I told him that I was proud of him and he said that the owner showed him respect, so he was trying to be respectful in return.

I wish that Travis didn’t vape. But because he does, he knows a bit about it. While he worked on unpacking and cleaning he took it upon himself to help customers find what they needed when the owner was busy with another customer. Which led to Travis exceeding the owner’s expectations.

I asked the job coach to let the owner know that Travis would be on vacation the next two Fridays, and to ask if he could work on Saturday instead the one week that we get back.

As I am writing I keep adding to my to do list. The list that needs to be accomplished before we leave Friday morning. The last two entries. Email HUD to notify them that Travis started a new job. According to the contract, it is necessary to notify them within 10 days. And email his homemaker provider that Fridays will no longer work, can we figure out another day.

I am going to ask a favor of each and every one of you reading this. Can you please pray, or send positive energy or vibes Travis’s way?

As one of my friends told me, we could use a win.

In the spirit of taking better care of me, I will not be writing a blog for next Monday. I will not have access to wi-fi, and will be busy filling my bucket!!

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” - Thomas Edison

“You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.” - Margaret Thatcher