Collecting Experiences

Hope you all had a good Labor Day weekend! Maybe you got a project done around the house. Or had a barbeque with family and friends. Whatever you did, I hope you’re able to look back and feel a sense of accomplishment. Or a sense of joy. Even if you only accomplished recharging your batteries by spending your time binge watching a program, or napping.

As I look at my life, I realize that I have less time going forward than I do behind me. I want to make sure that I make my moments count. I also want to be sure that I am leaving good memories of me in the hearts of others. I want to focus more on collecting experiences.

Can you believe the first week of September is already behind us? I haven’t even changed the month on the calendar I have hanging in my office from August yet. I am making a conscious effort to slow down. To spend more time doing the things that I enjoy doing.

This weekend one of my CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) kiddos from a previous case stayed with us. It’s hard for me to believe that I met him when he was ten, and next month he will be sixteen. Tracy and I both spent some individual time with him, doing some serious mentoring. Tracy took him dove hunting. When he does spend time with us, he follows Tracy around. He is eager to learn and he certainly needs a good male role model.

This morning my CASA kiddo ran the Fort Collins Fortitude 10k with one of my tribe members. We were there to send them off, and watch them cross the finish line. He was excited because he beat his personal record from 2019. I am hoping to get back in the running game soon. Or even walking! Being at the race made me realize just how much I miss spending time with my friends and family at these events.

Tracy and I did some serious lumber jacking last weekend, and my foot held up both days. We had a friend from our home neighborhood join us, she really wanted to help because we have been bringing her wood the last year or two.

I’m probably one of the very last people that doesn’t own a FitBit or Apple watch. I finally went and bought myself an Apple watch. Both my daughter Corey and one of my friends swear that it will help me get back on track with my fitness. Apparently I won’t want to let my watch down. It hasn’t been a problem letting myself down the last couple of years, but the watch? No way! Lol!

You know what? It was expensive. But I am worth it.

And seriously? It tells me to stand up and move when I have been sitting at the computer for too long. And in the exact moment I was feeling stressed by a situation, it buzzed and told me to breathe for a minute. I hit start and the watch inhaled and exhaled with me for a full minute!

I set some goals that I didn’t meet the first three days. So the watch asked me if I wanted to edit my goals. Um, no. Give me some time to work up to them. Gotta close those rings! If you have an Apple watch, you’re laughing with me right now. Because you think it too!

Travis had another rough week. I spent more than my usual amount of time with him in his home this week. And supporting him.

Tracy and I were still able to carve out time to have dinner with friends in town during the week.

Corey and I made time to have a nice phone conversation this week. She’s crazy busy with her business, so I cherish when we get some time together. We made plans to have the grand boys with us for a weekend later this month.

So when I got home from an early morning in town at the race, and Travis called and gave me grief because he was needy and grouchy, I asked him if he wanted to come over and visit. He came up with all the reasons that he couldn’t and remained grouchy. I told him that we could talk later when he was in a better mood. We hung up.

He called back, no change in his attitude. Still not coming. Ok. Let me know if you change your mind.

He calls again. He is on his way. I told him that I would see him soon.

When Travis got here he was excited to see his dog. We sat on the deck. We had a nice visit. I listened to his music. I watched the most recent videos he made. I fixed him a plate of barbeque leftovers.

One of Travis’s tribe members called and asked for a ride. Travis said he couldn’t because he was hanging out with his mom.

When he was ready to leave he said that he was taking Sheila home. Without any prodding from us. We talked about responsible pet ownership. I shared with him that over the last two weeks we had her she hadn’t spent any time crated and didn’t chew or destroy anything. Tracy and I reminded him of the importance of her getting enough exercise, and that it would do him some good as well.

He said he would take the door off her crate so she can go in and sleep there if she chose. He promised to try to do better. That’s all we can ask for.

I was a little freaked out when I saw that he was calling less than an hour later. Meaning he just made it home. But then Travis said, oops, my phone called you. I laughed because I pictured the phone thinking, hey, we haven’t called your mom in an hour. I’ll take care of it.

Travis just called me again a second ago. He knows I turn my phone off at 8pm, he had to get that last minute call in before the wire.

And guess what? That was number nine. If you’ve read my blog, “Nine Times a Day”, you already know that I averaged my phone calls from Travis over a few weeks, and it came to nine.

I am slowly beginning to practice what I preach. That self-care is important. Especially if you’re a caregiver.

Over the last few months we have made a few trips to the cabin. I have had dinner with friends on a few different occasions. I went on a girl’s trip. I have been able to see a few of my CASA kiddos on a couple of occasions. We completed our fantasy football draft. I’m seeing a group of friends monthly on video chat for our book club. We’ve had friends visit from out of state. We took a family vacation.

Sometimes I look at my calendar and feel overwhelmed. But what I’ve learned is that scheduling events in with friends and family makes me a better caregiver for Travis.

Because I made time to do the things that were important to me outside of him, I was better able to give him quality time today. Having him come to our house enabled me to focus on him, rather than cleaning his house, cooking some meals for his week, etc…

My heart is full.

Trust me. Add some fun things to your calendar. Collect more experiences. It’s important to your well-being.

“Life is a beautiful collection of temporary experiences. Treasure your unique collection, and enjoy sharing it with others.” - Matthew Kahn