The Good Stuff — No Stone Left Unturned

This past weekend was an emotional one for our family. We lost Travis’s Grandma (Tracy’s mom) to cancer a year ago. It is so hard to believe that it has already been a year. We are just now starting the impossible task of going through her things, deciding what to save and what to donate.

It was also a time of laughter as we told stories we were reminded of when we came across certain items. Our nephew told a story about asking Grandma for a sip of her iced tea. After he backwashed in it he was never allowed to drink from her Tupperware tea cup again. When we came across the cup he asked if he could have it.

We would have loved to have Travis help us with this project. These times are just too hard for him. After going through things all day Friday and Saturday, Tracy picked him up to have dinner with the family. We cleaned up and put the boxes away. We put our best positive energy forward.

Even on positive occasions, family gatherings are tough for Travis. He doesn’t feel like he fits in. I think part of that is because he is adopted. But he also feels like he is different. I used to try to encourage him. I would say things like, “We are all different”. He gets frustrated because he thinks that I do not understand. It is impossible for me to understand exactly how he is feeling. It is a lot to navigate. Autism, a learning disability, and chronic mental illness.

I have done a ton of research in my quest to help Travis live his best life. I do not understand the intricate workings of the brain. But what I do get a glimpse of with Travis is that his unhappy memories seem to stick to his brain, and he needs help to remember the good stuff.

When the song, “The Cat’s in the Cradle” by Harry Chapin, comes on Travis compares the son’s experience in the song with his own, saying that his dad was never around when he was young. Tracy did travel some for work, but he was around for Travis. He was even his cub scout leader. I show Travis several pictures of the two of them together. Travis’s perspective doesn’t change.

Travis says that his sister never spent time with him when they were growing up. Corey is seven years older than Travis, but she did spend time with him. I pull out the pictures and show him.

When Travis is in a depressed place, he says that he does not have a family. Nobody cares about him. I have said before that mental illness is quite the opponent. I show him pictures of him with his family members.

Travis says that he cannot remember ever being happy. More pictures. I can tell the difference in the pictures of when he has a forced smile and when he is experiencing pure joy. I remember the good times and share them with him.

We spent hours reminiscing this weekend, and looking at photos. For this week’s blog I decided to share some of those photos with you. I hope that is okay. I think you will agree after seeing them that Travis’s family adores him and that he has experienced happiness. I want to reach out and grab the happy times, and hold on to them. In hopes to retrain his brain to go there too.

We are supposed to enjoy the good stuff now, while we can, with the people we love. Life has a funny way of teaching us that lesson over and over again. - Author Unknown

In case you’re too young to remember, the thingie with the cord on it is a telephone. Even way back then Travis was holding a phone!

Travis stole dad’s hat. Tracy used to wear a cowboy hat often, especially while we were dating. He hardly wears one anymore. I always tease him by telling him that he misrepresented the facts when we were dating!

Looks like a dad that loves his boy very much to me!

Travis’s 7th birthday at the community pool. We liked to have his party at the pool for a couple of reasons. One, water kept him calm and two, we didn’t have to entertain a bunch of kids!

All dressed up to take mom to see the play “Wicked” in Denver. Can you see how excited Tracy is to be going to see a play? Travis has his headphones in case it gets too loud.

Corey is all smiles while holding her baby brother.

Travis started being the center of attention early on! First Christmas.

Headed to Grandma and Grandpa Kastle’s house. First Easter.

Corey and Travis loved their beanie babies!

Siblings sharing a dance. I’m sure that this shirt with a collar did not stay on very long!

Travis had a very special connection with his Great Grandma Nedrow.

Taking care of great grandma by zipping her coat for her.

Travis giving Grandma Kastle a smooch at the Rockies game. Grandpa Kastle looks amused, like he’s wondering what Travis wants in return for the kiss.

Travis with Grandma Kastle at a family wedding.

Horseback riding at Uncle Doug’s and Aunt Mary’s.

One of my all time favorite school pictures of Travis. This is before the poop hit the fan as far as school goes.

Travis is cutting the ribbon for me at my cookie store. You would tie the ribbon on a peg and spin the board around and around by the handle until all of the ribbon spun off the spool. Then just cut across from the original tied spot and wa-lah! The… — Travis is cutting the ribbon for me at my cookie store. You would tie the ribbon on a peg and spin the board around and around by the handle until all of the ribbon spun off the spool. Then just cut across from the original tied spot and wa-lah! The ribbon was to tie onto the balloons we sold with our cookie bouquets.